Many years ago I took a sabbatical and made a 6 week, 3800-mile solo bicycle trip across the US… lots of interesting lessons ….. for example - there are much easier ways to get across the country…..
I started on Cape Flattery on the Makah Indian reservation in Neah Bay, Washington and rode east….. it was odd, but it sure seemed like that many of my encounters were more than coincidences….here is just one of the experiences…. I remembered it because of some bad behavior on my part this week – Christy, I apologize……
I roll into Chillicothe, Ohio quite late and instead of camping that night, I check into the first cheap hotel I could find ….after my shower I cannot find my wallet…everything is in it – without it I cannot even buy dinner… real panic is setting in when the front desk rang - someone had turned it in… I quickly go to the lobby and I am relieved - everything is there…..in the fading sunlight I head across the dim, empty parking lot back to my room….
Out of the corner of my eye I see him getting out of a dilapidated car and walking toward me…. he has long since passed 300 pounds, long stringy hair that has not seen shampoo in a while, tattoos covering both his arms and dressed in a way that indicates the Salvation Army is running low on donations … he is definitely walking toward me…
I think “great, I lose my wallet and then get mugged”
he yells out to me in a thick Uncle Remus like accent that is barely intelligible
“Hey !! – hol up thar buddy!!
….I look for something to pick up and defend myself……
“Was dat yer wallet ?”
I pause – he is more destitute than my first assessment… reminds me of the mountain man in Deliverance …. My heart is pounding… I say nothing and keep walking….
“yea, I foun it on de pabement over thar an figerd sumbuddy wut be in a tuuuuuff spot”
Ah… relieved, I realize now he isn’t going to mug me – he found the wallet ….
…..Ahhh he wants a reward….and I can see he really needs it…..
With a touch of hidden righteous and magnanimous attitude, I pull out a $20 and extend it to him……and say “Thank you, I really appreciate you turning it in” …
… he quickly becomes indignant and, ironically, puts his hands in the air like I am holding him up….
“ Naww, man, Naww ! – I don need nuthin fer doin whatz right…. Ya wuda dun de same fer me”
I paused….. I shake his extended hand …..
” Glad I wuz de one what foun it… .therz dizhunest peeple out thar ya know – tek cer of yerself…. hav a guud evenin” –
He walked back to his beat-up car - broken windshield, a low hanging muffler and off-color door and hood from a junkyard repair…
Like most nights on the trip I had dinner alone … but this one was infused with a dull, grinding feeling of shame that I could not shake off….
“ya wuda dun de same fer me”
a declaration… not even the hint of a question in his voice…
the nagging question was, given the way he looked, whether I would have done anything for him… I had quickly judged his character based on what he looked like….
A friend sent me an article by Indra Nooyi – former CEO of Pepsi - it describes the best advice she ever got – the net of which is always assume positive intent
If only I could remember to do it……
Just some thoughts….