It was a very short and sharp rebuke …. there was no sugar coating, no discussion…. no “aftercare”… I did not want to admit it, but I knew it was true …. I should have never needed to be told……it sliced deep into my ego and confidence…..
It was my first review with Thomas. He was a very senior partner visiting from the Zurich office that would evaluate my candidacy for partnership over the next 18 months. Thomas was annoyingly neat, punctual and organized…. he had never been known to smile… his taciturn style wasn’t typically harsh. He was just a man who was extremely efficient with words and actions …. and very direct.
Thomas’s role was to assess my ability to independently develop clients… and to coach. My homework had been to prepare an outline of my clients and prospective clients over the next twelve months.
The first two on the list were ongoing midsize projects that Thomas approved of and gave advice on how I might develop them further. Then I began to describe a list of 6 executives that I was in regular contact with and was exploring potential ways we might support their businesses.
As we went down this list Thomas asked the same two questions. By the time I started answering for the third executive I began to feel uneasy in my stomach…
“What is their critical performance issue that would compel them to engage us?”
“Can they make the decision to hire us?”
A clear pattern was emerging – the executives were always available for lunch or a chat…. and I had had multiple conversations about important strategic issues their company was facing……. but in every case it was another executive in the company that had the difficult issue and in most cases, yet another executive that would be able to make decision to hire us.
“Frankly I think you are wasting time with these people – these are friends, not clients.”
Ouch…..
He warned me that there were always people in organizations that were happy to chat with consultants – they relished the gossip, new ideas and fished for news about the company. They were known as consultant friendly and were a frequent trap for young partners. You could spend lots of time with them, and it felt good because you were welcomed and it was client contact - but typically not much yield.
Imparta, a leading sales training firm with excellent insights, has coined these people ”Centers of Receptivity”- perfect description. A great source of information and perhaps introductions….
Thomas urged me to focus my effort on executives that had compelling opportunities or issues…. and were “under the gun” to get results. He called them Problem Owners (or in Imparta language “Centers of Dissatisfaction”). Only in a couple prospective clients was I able to succinctly describe the compelling issue…….and in those cases I did not have a connection to the key executives …. It was now clear that my “friends” were often excellent observers and commentators about the issues – but were not owners of the issues.
I had discovered that these Problem Owners were difficult to reach- and when I did connect with them they were less interested in strategic concepts and frameworks and more focused on specific solutions and examples. Certainly less fun and comfortable than the lofty strategic conversations with my friends.
Next he asked:
“Who has the power to decide to engage us in a significant way?”
“Who can sign the checks?”
Honestly not a single one of my contacts could make that kind of decision. They could approve a small project, but nothing that would have a material impact on company performance and not hitting the threshold for an aspiring partner. Thomas encouraged me to identify the Decision Makers - I knew these executives were pretty demanding as well.
I had fallen into the trap – I was spending time with nice people that would easily accept a meeting, were happy discuss strategy and issues……. but in the end these conversations were highly unlikely to lead anywhere.
Of course my mentor had been encouraging me and coaching me and I had been to many client meetings with my mentor, but I realized I had been just a very observant passenger and helper.
It was if I wanted to learn to fly a plane. I had watched my mentor fly and I had flown with him …..I was pretty sure I understood. But in reality I had been taxiing the plane around the runways and telling myself I was learning to fly.
I stayed in touch with my friends…. but after the sharp kick in the pants from Thomas, I started to be much more selective about the executives I wanted to meet. I aimed higher and took more risks…. and spent my time more wisely.
The next year was tough and discouraging. I struggled to get meetings with the Problem Owners and Decision Makers. And when I did get a meeting, it was often uncomfortable. I usually over prepared and tried to impress rather than listen. No major crash and burn events… but lots of near misses and rough landings…
Coaching, luck and persistence taught me a lot. I found out that indeed most of my previous comfortable conversations were dead ends…. in many cases information I had been given was quite wrong. Over time I found out that actually flying was much, much harder than the taxiing conversations with my friends…. but flying was so much more fun …and certainly more productive.
I am very grateful for that painful but necessary push from Thomas …. I just need to remind myself from time to time that taxiing is not flying… and I truly enjoy flying….
Just some thoughts….
Walt
Related Post: Bob and his two simple questions
I learnt something.
Yes, I’m learning this in real time. I’m blessed to have a friend that “gives it to me straight”.
He asks he same types or exact same questions Thomas asked you.
It can feel like a slap in the face, or many once.
Better to learn quickly than slowly.
Also sometimes it’s nice to hear him say he’s my number one fan … those times when I’m feeling less than because I see so many mistakes at once.
He reminds me that “as long as I’m moving forward and learning” that’s all that matters.
I remember your Friday thoughts from ACN, and they are still as raw and real.
Looking forward to see more.