Thank you for all the comments and feedback on Don't pick your nose - lessons from great mentoring posted a couple weeks ago – Part 2 today.
6. Set high expectations - and move the goal posts
On one of my first occasions to manage a project on my own, I had the chance to work with a senior Partner that had been friendly to me and had the reputation as a great mentor. But he was picky and relentlessly changing and correcting my work. It did not matter what I gave him, he pushed for more. I thought he would be a mentor… but night after night of tediously rewriting documents it felt like he was my tormentor. He was not giving me even the slightest hint of praise – he seemed to relish seeing me suffer through the endless rewrites…… I learned more on that 10 week project than I had in the previous year.
The best mentors are not necessarily the leaders that are the nicest. The best mentors are those that push their mentees to learn the most and grow as fast as they can.
7. Build fundamental skills
Early in my consulting career I was very disappointed to be assigned to a marketing project for a local natural gas company. I unsuccessfully lobbied to be assigned to a much cooler strategy project. First, I had zero interest in marketing. And second, marketing natural gas ?? Seriously?? Everyone knows gas is a commodity – there is no need for marketing…..
I was so wrong – turns out that a Level 1 Trauma center has very different needs for natural gas supply than a low margin steel manufacturer ……whose needs are quite different than the local school system. None of my MBA classes came close to pushing me to deeply understand customer segmentation, buying criteria, pricing needs and expectations as that “disappointing” assignment.
Whether it is through a variety of assignments or feedback on a minor document, great mentors focus on building fundamental skills. It is quite common for talented staff to be promoted quickly through the ranks with choice assignments in their strongest domain – and that can often be a mistake.
Sometimes the building of basic skills suffers. The assignments can focus too narrowly on the person’s interests or strengths and they miss the chance to build broader skills that are critical to long term career growth. Having to struggle to turnaround a dead product line might not be as glamorous or prestigious as being on the team for a hot new product, but the lessons learned likely more valuable and enduring. Mentors that guide their staff to only the most attractive assignments are not doing them any favors.
8. Let them fail – with an invisible safety net
Mark Twain quipped,
“A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn no other way”
Some things just have to be experienced – no discussion or illustration can substitute from feeling the consequences of a bad decision. One or two gulps of water… or a bit of water up the nose is a great incentive to learn to swim…. and the lesson sticks for quite a while.
But the invisible safety net needs to be there – small failures build caution, big failures kill confidence.
Great mentors let their mentees pick up that cat - they let them struggle and even fail to facilitate their learning – and they make sure there is an appropriate safety net.
9. Keep it on the “down low”
Remember in Top Gun when Charlie criticized Maverick in front of the whole class?
It is sad to see a talented individual get tagged as the “EVP’s pet”. But it happens when the mentorship becomes highly visible and appears to be overly preferential. It reduces the credibility of the mentee – and the mentor. And it can become a major career limiter for the mentee.
A mentoring relationship does not need to be a secret, but the best mentors keep it low key and avoid even the appearance of favoritism.
10. Make it a team effort
A solo, or worse “clingy”, mentor can be a set back to a career. Everyone benefits from different experiences and insights. Multiple mentors expand the perspective and organizational reach for a mentee.
Occasionally a mentor becomes clingy and hangs on to a talented individual for their own benefit. They want “credit” for developing someone. And it can be tempting – the mentor has often invested significant time and perhaps risked political capital to grow a protégé. Training someone new can be a hassle.
But a great mentor understands their limitations and will recommend or even insist that a mentee get guidance and direction from other leaders. The most unselfish mentors will “graduate” their mentees to newer and broader opportunities.
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That’s it – some of the lessons I have picked up watching some great mentors develop staff.
If you have the privilege of being a mentor, please don’t take this as a list of requirements. I don’t remember any single mentor working all these angles – I would consider consistently hitting 4 or 5 to be a great success.
If you are fortunate to be in a position of being mentored these are some of the things to look for. Remember, the best mentors are not necessarily the leaders that are the nicest. The best mentors are those that selflessly create the opportunities for their mentees to learn the most and grow the fastest. And while it does not have to be painful….. it might not always feel warm and fuzzy. In fact, I might go further to say if it feels warm and fuzzy, you might need another mentor.
I am sure I have missed something – please share your lessons and observations of great mentoring ..…
Thanks for reading,
Walt