Don't pick your nose

and other lessons in great mentoring (Part 1)

It was Day 3 – the HR and admin tasks were finally out of the way… I  was anxiously waiting for my first bigtime consulting assignment – my new grownup shoes were perfectly shined and my shiny Palomino Blackwing 602 No. 2/HB pencils had been sharpened…. several times…. 

Richard was a senior partner in the office – a Brit exiled in Cleveland. He was distinguished, erudite and sophisticated. (….unrelated early lesson – Brits named Richard typically don’t want to be called Dick).

I had only met Richard briefly at some recruiting dinners so I was surprised when he stopped by my office. He casually asked if I would join him in an hour to go to a meeting with a nearby CEO client.  As we walked the couple blocks I nervously asked “What do you want me to do in this meeting??” 

Richard cheerfully answers “Nothing….. Don’t say anything”…..  he pauses and then adds “and don’t pick your nose” (I think he knew I grew up in South Carolina).

The meeting was uneventful… it seemed to be a casual chat….. kind of boring … except for one thing …. the CEO was quite underwhelming…. I had expected a big powerful, charismatic dynamic leader – a titan of industry…. he turned out to be whimpy and whiny……  

As we walk back Richard asked me what I thought about the meeting…. he probed me about what I had heard…. I realized he had gleaned 10X more from the casual conversation than I had….. he didn’t say it, but I definitely felt I had not been listening very carefully……

When I asked what I needed to do next Richard answered – “Nothing, just wanted you to join me.  Thanks for coming along.”

I was confused…. over the following weeks I learned more about the “apprenticeship model” …. learning a trade by working side by side with an experienced professional….. mentoring on steroids….

In the ensuing years I had the benefit of many excellent mentors that attempted to train, coach and mentor me – I think much of it was wasted on me. I never felt like I was learning even of fraction of what was flowing over me…… but I did see many elements of what world class mentoring should be….

So now when I have the privilege of managing, mentoring or coaching someone I try to remember some of the things I experienced…..

1. Bring them along
   I learned to never go to a meeting alone – always bring a junior staff member along just to watch.  I had many other valuable experiences of being asked to join meetings just to observe….. and I became much more observant – and learned to drink my coffee black (future Friday Thoughts).
   

2. Provide curbside coaching
   Immediately after meetings or presentations I would get detailed feedback. Like Richard probing me on the walk back.  Often the feedback was about tiny details I thought were trivial (“stand on the other side of the room in that situation because….”) to the critically important ( “you aren’t letting people finish their thoughts – pause – give them room”)…..  and on rare occasions I would be praised (“that didn’t suck”….). That short, immediate feedback was tough to take at first – but it turned out to be 10X more valuable than the rote annual reviews. 
    

3. Position them as important
   In almost every meeting I was introduced as a qualified and knowledgeable consultant. Frequently with slightly exaggerated credentials (….there was no gold medal in Innsbruck). Clients took me more seriously and I felt pressure to live up to the expectations that had been set.
   

4. Give them challenging assignments
   From the beginning I was given assignments that were just beyond-or far beyond - my capability – or so I thought.  I was frequently intimidated by what people thought I should be able to do.  Then I heard the expression “You learn to swim quickly when you are on your toes and the water is just under your nose”
   

5. Provide air cover
   It was a tense late night meeting on the hot mill. The line was down and pressure was on the local management team to get it up and running fast. Earlier in the day I had made a small but clear mistake in getting some specs to the maintenance team. Jim brought it up in the meeting looking for blood. My boss Larry quickly jumped in, “My mistake – I was in a hurry and looked at the wrong print – I apologize Jim.”   After the meeting Larry looked at me with laser eyes, “Don’t let that ever happen again.”  
   
   

 To be continued…..

Walt