It was one of the more painful moments in my career – I was sad ….very sad…. it started a churning deep in my stomach…. after a few hours the queasy, nauseous feeling worked its way up to the back of my throat…. I think I will be sick…. it depresses me now to write about it…..
Several years ago we learned that one of our star managers did something very bad..... the details are not that important - the net of it was, based on knowledge gained from working with her client, our manager started setting up a side business that would be a clear and direct conflict of interest with her client …. and we learned about it…..
Why? …. Why? …. Why?
….. it pains me….. I search for some rational explanation... …..she is really smart and very, very effective with clients….people love working for her……a promising career – she is a future leader ….. I am emotionally drained as I think about it…..
…..surely she is not that stupid..... maybe it was all a misunderstanding.... it cannot possibly be as bad as it sounds……
….but the facts are clear...….. it was not a momentary lapse of judgment.... it was premeditated .... it was planned.... for several months….
There is no doubt that a very distinct and important ethical line has been crossed…..it is clear what we must do –
….. why would she do this? why? why? why? Damn I hate this ……. I really hate it…. I feel sick…….
And the first call comes in… and then the second …. and then the third……
“She has never really had any problems in the past”
“I have known her for years, she is really a very good person”
….. yes, I can see that….
“No real damage has been done yet, it never even got started really, the client does not know about it”
“There was no malicious intent, she meant no harm to the client”
“It was not really a direct conflict – it would not have ever been any material effect on the client’s business”
……. Hmmm, maybe you are right…..
“People make mistakes; even our best people make mistakes”
“She has a strong entrepreneurial spirit that just got a little ahead of itself – we want entrepreneurs in our business don’t we??”
“She is a great people leader – our people really love working for her”
…….yeah, you have a good point there……
“We really don’t have anyone else to lead this critical work…. This is a really, really important client, this could open an opportunity for our competitors…..”
“You are blowing this way out of proportion; she has been a terrific employee for 5 years”
…….maybe you are right….
“There is no reason for you to be a Boy Scout here, we need to be practical”
“Look, are you telling me you have never made a mistake in your career!!? Don’t act like some high and mighty judge here! Give her a second chance”
“All we need to do is give her the lowest possible annual rating – that will send the needed message – it’s not like she robbed a bank or killed somebody – be reasonable here.”
“No one else would know, she knows it was wrong, she will promise to never do anything like this again and everything is cool”
…… I guess you are right, we could just put this behind us, and everything would be OK….
I begin to feel better, maybe this is not so bad after all……
Wait a minute……. Wait a minute!!!!
What is happening here?….I am being seduced…. Seduced into not being the enforcer, the bad guy……I am being tempted to follow a less confrontational path…… an easier path…… seduced into thinking that integrity is negotiable….. what am I thinking??? What’s wrong with me??
I am very sorry this happened…… and I am deeply saddened…….
…….I am physically sick about the situation…..
But integrity is not negotiable…….
Integrity is just not negotiable.